consequence

wanting to fade--
because my expectations continue leading only to disappointments . . .

I wonder if it's more like blinking,
being able to forget . . .

I am tempted, very strongly, toward nihilism--
that every human effort is ultimately meaningless,
and that those who invest in simplicity and easy answers are "right."

Desire, convention, the blinking mass . . .
disembodiment
thrilled only by imagined vapors.

I want fire
because I know my ways are better,
and that they will never be accepted outside myself before I die.