Sunday, August 28, 2005

two dreams

Dream 1

Honestly, I rarely dream of anything anime. Thus my last dream was strange.

Anime Central was holding a contest in which groups would re-dub entire anime series to, more or less, create entire new watching experiences. Actually, all anime conventions had (in dreamland) been doing this since the mid-80s. I formed a group and we decided to remake Scrapped Princess.

Except, somehow, our rewriting affected the animation--creating an entirely new series with only the animation style and some character images remaining.

In my version of Scrapped Princess, there is a princess that falls deathly ill. All forms of doctors inform that she will soon perish, and that there is no hope of survival. Then, expectedly, comes along a foreign prince promises to find a cure.

The first half of the series is his. He journeys to somewhere remote and finds a cure-all antidote that is promised, at the least, to slow the princess' decline. He also hears a story detailing a lost civilization that had achieved the powers of the gods. Not entirely original, but it built a beginning.

Upon recieving her antidote, the princess regains composure enough to declare, rather adamantly, that she will not die. Ignoring advice from her foreign savior, she determines to uncover this civilization herself--and proceeds to explode from her chamber with an entirely unhuman power, running steadfast in a direction she somehow knows is correct.

Uncovering the ancient civilization means a country-wide area is transformed, rather violently, from quaint rolling farmlands to massive sprawling deathtrap jungle. The transformation sequence is damned cool--and the story then focuses on the foreign prince, having given chase, coping with a new, far more dangerous setting as he witnesses the very land he steps on ripped asunder with high trees, vines, spiders (lots of spiders), and remnants of a lost civilization.

Somewhere inbetween completing our entry, my group (in "reality") decided to road trip to an amusement park. It was a cross between Disneyland and Six Flags Great America, with a small hint of Jurassic Park. Therein, eventually, was a street vendor. For whatever reason, my companions and self decided to verbally abuse him.

He had a heart attack and collapsed, dead.

This took us rather aback. Even more alarming came that no other park-goers seemed to notice this dead man in front of an amusement park storefront. We decided to lock the corpse in the deceased's store.

Odd, as many dreams are.


Dream 2
Events began aboard an interstellar capital ship large enough to support many thousands of space travellers. I was attending a religious mass of sorts with a brother not entirely human.

I assumed the form of Mark Hamil and the other creatures in the room were pulled more or less directly out of Star Wars. Except I discovered, unlike Mark Hamil, an artifact that could create a forcefield. There were no more than 15 other folk in the galactic space chapel (brightly lit, but with gothic architecture) when two bounty hunter creatures (hulking things, not Boba Fett) appeared. When they began shooting, my brother held the artifact.

But he was shocked and forgot to use it. I threw myself at the ground just as an alien woman to my right was punctured by a stream of gauss or lead, blue blood showering from her back. She fell, dead, partially on top of me, and when the assailants shot at what they believed to be bodies, this is all that saved me from injury.

My brother lived. The bounty hunters (I suppose) made their way through a large cathedral door to a first, and then a second inner sanctum, both looking like additional church structures. I chastised my brother for not using the artifact--because had he, he likely could have saved a number of beings. Thus I made him give me the device and the scene shifted.

I was alone with a mission to avenge the death of a captain. My small star ship, much like a Wraith from Starcraft, approached a hive-like colony, and I was prepared to slaughter wrecklessly. Which I did, in far less detail than the first scene, but I met a creature that reminded me of Kimahri from Final Fantasy 10.

Another scene change and I had decided to return to a home planet--one that sounded like Tatooine put started with a P and had at least one other surprise syllable that I can no longer remember. Upon arriving I was given a menu of locations to travel to, much like might occur in a videogame, and decided to go home.

My faithful pet bloodhound stayed with my stepfather and I decided I wanted the dog with me on my journey. The stepfather was less than thrilled as the creature was, now, his only companion. But the dog agreed with me--and, very oddly, appeared in astral form beside me.

It had decided to leave its flesh--to die. It remained in an energy or spirit form and I had a second party member when a text box appeared alerting me that the planet's capital was under attack.

I decided to load a previous savegame, and this time the captain didn't die and I went straight to my home planet. Instead of selecting home, though, I decided to visit the city--the brother that failed to save lives would be joining me. But in the meantime I had time to kill, so I began looting houses much like all good RPG adventurers are prone to do.

Just as I reached my inventory limit, the city came under attack again. And I woke up.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Changes

"Maybe I should stop praying for a miracle"
from Splashdown's So Ha!

Because Denver didn't seem too bad. The worst of my first visit to what I currently hope will be my home in 13 months came from my mother's abysmally cynical attitude about everything--but parental proximity on "vacations" is always, for the family type, amplified.

We witnessed an unusual all-day downpour (vantaged in an airport, a rental car, an exceptionally good Chinese buffet, and a hotel room), visited the Denver University campus, traveled about two hours west into the mountains, and ended things downtown.

I like mountains. I have never skied or snowboarded, and have only on three occasions done rock-climbing, but I like adventurous landscapes--those that are almost impossible to find in the midwest. And I also enjoy sections of cities that have a barely-identifiable aura of unique culture. Places that don't smell of piss and aren't too saturated with the sounds of honking horns, but are still surrounded by millions of unique (to varied degrees) souls.

Chicago offers a much better cityscape, especially from the lakefront and especially at night. As cities go, and home-bias may be partially to blame for my perspective, Chicago makes more sense than ones built away from larger bodies of water. But what I usually experience in Chicago I experienced just as much of in Denver over just three days--Denver has mushroomed in population since my entering this world, but between two and three million seems to offer more intimacy than Chicago.

I am conflicted... because there is a part of me that is shouting against my desire to transfer and move even further. But I... as far as I can tell, this feeling is most likely the uniquely human trait to fear perceptible long-term change. Next most likely would be the inability to feel at home away from home--a more specific stemming of the previous blame. But there is a chance that this is some psychic call of warning...

And, thus, I feel scattered. I will be back in DeKalb two weeks from now, never to return to this household as "home." Having confirmed that Denver and its university are more pleasant, though not perfect, than repellant I am able to more clearly place myself come September 2006. And having visited the Denver University (if there's one thing I very much prefer of NIU over DU it is NIU's acronym) study abroad office, hearing that chances for studying in Iceland are "very good," as well as hearing from just about everyone how adamant the university is in encouraging its students to study abroad, I also better place myself come November 2007.

In both situations, I am far away from here--further and further away. Distanced from the teachers that helped instill my personal disciplines, the friends and enemies that have honed my interpersonal personalities, and, of course, from that one girl I never really came to terms with.

So I sigh.

This path looks lonely. For several years I have preached of the unique strengths loneliness offers against extroversion, and now I am staring into its eyes from a distance closer than ever. This is a chance to prove I really can forge my own way into this world as well as a chance to find new allies to call when in dire situations, but this chance suggests I really won't see many of "them" again (whomever "they" all are).

Specifics are hazier than ever. During that last year of highschool I had been predicting the finer details with increasing accuracy, and I became comfortable as I discovered familiarity in individual moments. I knew that change was coming--entries dated more than 12 months old hopefully show levels of that. But now those changes are right at my doorstep--three gigantic ones bigger than any I have previously faced.

So...

"It's all up to me if I want to sit at the head of the table"
again, from Splashdown's So Ha!